daringtobe's Diaryland Diary

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Dumb Ass

Yes I did something stupid.

But instead of feeling liking an idiot (okay I sort of feel like an idiot about it) I feel somewhat liberated.

You see the guy had been calling me this last week or so having girl problems -- and I hadn't returned to his calls but I did finally talk with him. And he said he was in love with this girl but he couldn't have her yadda yadda. And my heart wrenched because of course the girl was not me.

But he sounded really depressed --- I hadn't heard from in the last couple of days so I just called him to how he was doing and he is fine -- he completely blew me off and said that him and this girl are going to work through whatever.

Now most of you are saying, don't you feel like a dumbass for calling?

In a way yes - but in other ways no.

I guess what hurt most was that he was hurting for someone. Someone not me. But what the hay he is with her now.

Now I need to see where I need to go and who I need to take with me.

Why do I feel like singing that song All by Myself...you know the cover version from the first Bridget Jones soundtrack?

And you know what else, I may wear my heart on my sleeve and care too much for people that I shouldn't --- but there has got to be another poor sap out there like me....sure I'll be eighty when I find him and my boobs will be down to my knees. But my last years will be happy ones.

(hopefully)

Plus to tell you the truth you can only be sad for so long before you say enough of this shit.

But that just may be the prozac talking!

3:43 p.m. - January 15, 2005

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