daringtobe's Diaryland Diary

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Waiting for the Day

2 entries in one day.....but I'm bored with no one to talk to....I was thinking after attempting to read some of the diaries in diaryland...that a lot of them seem to be by people who are looking for someone to love them...not through the web site...but in life....and I thought why is it that we all go through our lives looking for the one person that will make it all better....I mean why do we think that if we fall in love with someone it will solve all of our problems...that we will be happy. I used to think if I could get someone that I loved to love me I could start to love myself, but the truth is once they did love me (or whatever you want to call it) I thought there must be something wrong with them, no normal person could possibly love someone so screwed up on the inside such as myself. The first time I truly fell in love...he broke my heart...he did not choose me....I think it would have been okay with him...I think I could have loved him for awhile...but he didn't want me...I wonder what makes some people better at thinking with their head and not their heart? I always jump right in, head first, damn the consequences. Sure that has gotten me into trouble more then once, and I have made an ass out of myself many a time....but hell...I am waiting for the day when I take chance, throw caution to the wind and it finally works out for me! It may never happen....but I will keep trying.

7:44 p.m. - 2003-06-19

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