daringtobe's Diaryland Diary

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Trying Not To Fuck Things Up

Here I am...and it is Sunday.....yay. I am tired...and my allergies are acting up...but I think I will survive...I have something to go to this afternoon so I should be busy for the most part. Idle hands mean idle mind. Sometimes I feel so restless and bored with myself I don't know where to go or what to do.....I have repressed so many things for so long I don't know where to begin to start feeling things...and I feel like such a liar. I lie to the people around me when I pretend to be who they think I am....when I'm not....and I'm scared that I will do something crazy to fuck everything up for those around me and then there will be no turning back. I don't know who I am anymore....I don't think I ever really knew....

Sorry...I think I will go take my happy pill and find my better place....I'm not really depressed - just introspective. Life is more then just me - I need to remind myself of that....so on with the day!

I hope all is well with whomever....:)

10:04 a.m. - 2003-06-29

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