daringtobe's Diaryland Diary

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Ain't Life Grand

I had another bad day today. Another run in with the parental figures. I have let them down it seems by not listening to everything they say and actually have a mind of my own. There are other reasons as to why this day sucked so incredibly bad...but I won't go into them. I had to say goodbye to a sort of something/somebody thing...I knew that if I continued it would lead to no good and in my vulnerable state it was really for the best. Not that it affected anyone but myself. I think sometimes the relationships that I have with people are imaginary. I always find out later that they did not care as much for me as I did for them. Oh well. I saw my "doctor" today. He kept telling me I looked nice....hmmmmm. He also touches the small of my back when I am leaving the room when he is showing me out. I don't really like that but as long as he keeps writing the prescriptions I will keep ignoring it. When I was in the waiting room waiting to see him I looked around at all the other people in there and wondered what was wrong with them. What secret glitch do they have to their mental make up. I feel comforted by the fact that their are others out there fighting the fight against mental illness. So many demons in everyones heads.

Oh well enough about that....so today sucked and there is a great possibility that tomorrow will as well. And right now I am too chicken shit to kill myself so I guess I will get up and do it all over again.

Ain't life grand!

6:29 p.m. - 2003-09-10

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