daringtobe's Diaryland Diary

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deep dark secret

There is not much to report. Except I will tell you something that is a deep dark embarrassing secret...so you cannot tell anyone. On my earlier diary entries I talked about a guy and how I cared for him but him not so much for me. Anyway, time goes by and feelings ebb and flow and I am in a different place now...but....a couple of months ago we had an opportunity to eat together and I asked if he would fool around with me, you know, for fun. I didn't think he would say yes since he had a girlfriend and all and he knows my husband well...so I was going out on limb. And he adamantly says no. Doesn't offer explanation as to why not or nothing. So me being me thinks okay...he thinks I'm not sleeping with worthy....and I fall into a funk that I got over, no big deal.

So I get this email out of the blue Tuesday from him telling me that he broke up with his girlfriend.

I called him and talked to him about it because he sounded sad...and he told me that they had broken up two weeks ago and before that they had taken a break and he had had hot sex with some 19 year old prior to them breaking up. And then he emails today telling me he's doing okay and the he made out with a girl at a bar last night and that he's going out again tonight.

Now let me ask you this, if you knew a girl was attracted to, and you really hadn't talked to her in awhile, why the fuck would you email her and tell her about all the people you are fooling around with that aren't her?

Geez....I mean come on....is there a sign on my fucking back that says...please hurt me as much as you possibly can!

Oh well, let me start pulling myself out of a funk again.....

2:51 p.m. - 2004-09-17

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