daringtobe's Diaryland Diary

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Goals

It never ceases to amaze me the depths I will go to humilate myself.
I am like a dog with a bone, you can hit me a couple of times in the head but I won't let go until you completely knock me out.
Well, ladies and gents, I was knocked out last night.
I won't go into the dirty details of what happened, but let's just say I received further validation from an outside source that I am ugly and not worthy of anyone's affection.
I just don't understand how I can be arrogant and deeply insecure at the same time, for surely it has to be some form of arrogance that makes me think I can succeed in some of my wacky endeavors.
This past week will get a rating of -1 on scale of 1 to 10 - 1 being the worse and 10 the best.

I can't remember when the last time was that I had 10 week. I think it was back in 1991. I believe it involved a purchase of new shoes, my standards of happiness were low back then.

So here is the game plan:

1. Get my financial situation corrected (already started that)

2. Get my Mom healthy.

3. Be a great parent and a good sister.

4. Try with all my might to make my marriage better. I am not made of the stuff to cheat, and even if I was, I am not marketable.

5. No more feeling sorry for myself. This just sucks and feels pathetic. Of course that does not mean that I will not put some self absorbed rant out here..but for the most part no more whining.

Lets see which of these goals gets accomplished by the end of the year.

10:34 p.m. - 2004-10-02

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